One Month ago....

One month ago today, my great grandmother passed away. I have been handling it fairly well. (Yay, me!) I did however have a few ‘moments’ that I couldn’t fight back the tears.

Moment #1: I had a dream about great grandma. It wasn’t set in a recent environment, It was sometime in the past. It was a very short dream. We were sitting on the couch and she turned to me and said “Be a good wife, mother and friend. Love your family and be happy.” and that was it. I woke up completely frazzled. I was a mess. But what she said in that dream has stuck with me ever since.

Moment #2: My grandma Ruth gave Zoe great grandma’s twin bed and bedding. Well, the other day I got the bedding out to wash it and I was completely overwhelmed with the fragrance of great grandma. I stood in the garage, frozen. I looked at Nick and said “it smells like Great Grandma.” Instant tears. Needless to say the bedding didn’t get washed that night, and has yet to be washed. I will however wash it before we used it… Just not yet.
Moment #3: I was uploading my pictures from Great Grandma’s viewing and funeral to my computer, and Zoe came over to sit in my lap, as she normally does when I’m on the ‘puter.’ We were looking through some of the pictures (mostly family and flower pics) and we came across this picture: Zoe said “That’s Great Great Grammy” and I said “yes, ma’am it is.” A few seconds past and she said “Where is she??”… I froze. (What am I supposed to say? How do I explain this to her??! Please God, give me the knowledge to explain this to her?!?) She asked again “Where is Great Great Grammy? Is she at her house?” Here’s what I said “No baby, Great Great Grammy is not at home. She is in Heaven with God.” Zoe said “Heaven?!, That is where the rain comes from. Is she playing in the rain?!” (Let the tears begin.) “Yes, baby. She is playing in the rain” Then she dropped it. She hasn’t brought it up since. Wow, that was easy.

I miss her and think about her everyday. It’s hard to not think about her. Like I said in a previous blog, there’s not a memory I have that doesn’t have her in it. She is forever in my heart. I love you MaaMaw!!

I hope everyone has a good day!

Stefanie